Worst and Best…

I work in an office and hearing heels on wood floors gives me anxiety like hammers to my ear drum.

Women are the worst, aren’t they?  Men are the worst too.  Thank god for animals, at least they don’t cut in front of me to the coffee machine or ask me to redo a spreadsheet 16 times 

Trump is the worst.  He is totally Hitler.  Trump has killed so many jews I have lost count.

Fairness and bravery are the worst.  They’re so overrated, I prefer entitlement and safe spaces.

San Francisco’s the Best.  Glorious streets of beautiful pristine feces, needles and downtrodden humans, wallowing in their filth.  I say we need to have MORE people on the streets, and MORE feces.  Don’t let Portland win the #1 Feces city in America!  

America’s the Worst.  Worst country, ever.  That’s why no one wants to come here, legally or illegally.  

Socialism is the Best.  Just take it from Beautiful Venezuela where they are eating their dogs because of the food shortage, which is Awesome!  It’s great for the environment and is saving so much plastic!

Freedom is the Worst.  Free speech, freedom of Press, ugh, it’s terrible, it’s just toooo free.  I want censorship and banning.  This woman beat her husband to death with a stapler, so obviously we need to ban staplers immediately.  And if a criminal uses a stapler to kill another man, we’ll tell them they broke the law and ask them not to do it again.  Then we’ll put signs up saying this is a “no stapler zone” so criminals will go, “ah man! Okay…” and turn around and take their illegally obtained stapler to a “staplers welcome zone.”

Thoughtful Courtship

It was a pleasure to host our second “Thoughtful Comedy” show at Copyright called “Thoughtful Courtship!”

We had a sold out show and some of the funniest comics in the bay!

“Charlie the Chair”

“Charlie the Chair”

Charlie the Chair spends most of his time awaiting the arrival of a human or pet. His back aches in between these sittings and he longs to one day be able to move his legs….his best friend is Tilly the Table.

My return to Copyright

*This is Copyrighted AND Trademarked

Hey party people.

I have returned to Copyright bar in Soma, San FranPsycho, CA after a 2-3 month hiatus.  I started the Copyright Comedy show back in September 2017.  It was my first time ever organizing and hosting a comedy show, and boy was it fun!

There was what I will coin, a little ‘colonization’ that occurred, derailing from the agreement, which led to my unexpected hiatus, but it is aaaall good now because…

I am back!

This time I have a new brand and new comedy partner, Helen Chu.  We had our first show, “Thoughtful Womanhood” on June 7, 2018.  We had a packed house and featured 4 of the funniest females in the Bay Area <<<<< NOT Fake News!

Me, Helen Chu, Drea Meyers, Tracy Nguyen, Geneva Rust-Orta

See ya in July for our next stand-up comedy show “Thoughtful Diversity” – date to be determined this week!

Sincerely,

Chelsea Eiben

Thoughtful Comedy